Thursday, 19 October 2017

Letting Go

We should never be together on the firsthand

When two broken souls are still trying to mend down previous sorrows

They said I should be happy on my own company

But I like it with yours

But when you take me to swim in the ocean of uncertainty

I knew that I should pull myself from this temporary excitement

It is unreal and my heart starts beating too fast again

We both know that you are still yet to do discover many things in life

And I ought to fix my ‘state in mind’

That none of us are ready

So I think it is once again applicable that things happen for a reason

In this case, for the betterment

Denpasar, 19 October 2017


Tuesday, 3 October 2017

I Choose To Be Strong

I have been dealing with my anxiety for the past few years. I think the first time I notice the symptom was in 2011 when everything about life was uncertain. However, it became more obvious in 2013 when I was diagnosed with a non-life treating illness that postponed my graduate study for 6 months. The past three years I spent in Australia, I realise it was an anxiety all these time that I am having.

Having moved to Bali and recently broken up (again), I thought everything was just ok until my short romance collapsed and I started having panic attact during our stressful conversation. It was not even too stressful. I was just worried too much.

But you know what, I would not let my anxiety paralyses me! I will stay strong.  I will keep my performance up for my work, contribute to the society and try my best to inspire other people.

I have some strategy to cope with this that I will practise and go through. I will be fine. I choose to be strong!



Thursday, 21 September 2017

Why My Instagram is For Public

I’ve been thinking these days if should keep my Instagram private or if I should unveil it for public.

I have a few considerations:

First, I want to indulge my private moments with my loved ones, my friends and my family. As I do not enjoy getting distracted by people who get attached by their smart phone so much, I do not want to be one of those people. I am afraid I will be more aware on things I publish online instead of the quality time that I share with people around me.

Second, I am a bit anxious of people judgment. I want to be myself. I love myself the way I am. I don’t want to change a bit to fit the society's expectations. I want to publish things around me to my inner circle without hiding my real self and only showing people want they want to see.

Third, I am trying to keep my mental wellbeing. After a few soul crushing and heartache moments the past few years, I realize how important it is to be mindful. I have been practicing mindfulness meditation since early 2015. I am afraid that if I keep my Instagram public, I would focus more on posting the things online instead of being in present moment (related to point 1). And as you might knew already social media is full of things unpredicted. You never know what people could do with your picture postings in the future.

Nonetheless, after talking to my good friend, Zeva, while I was on duty in Jakarta last time, I realize I could utilize social media for a positive purpose that inline with my life goal. Zeva herself for instance is a devoted Muslim and she aims to utilize her Instagram to inspire other young women that those who wear hijab could accomplish things beyond make up tutorials. She is a brilliant and career driven person who happens to be good at cooking and make up as well. She is definitely such an inspiration.

For my side, I want to inspire other ordinary young Indonesian women that you could achieve more than you can imagine! Many times in my life people ask me If I come from a rich family or If I am after a rich husband? The truth is that I have traveled to more than 35 countries, obtained my double master degrees from the best university in Australia and have a few investment properties of my own at my late 20ish is because of I have brain and I work hard to get what I want! I know what I am after and I follow my dreams (with the support of my family and close friends).

There is nothing special about my upbringing and my background of family. I was born in a middle class family, raised in a small yet beautiful town in a highland of Sumatra with only 4000 residents. My parents never push me to be anything, they just want me to be happy and to be a useful person in the society (which hopefully what I am going through now). Although my parents are education oriented, no one in my immediate family has a master degree, not to mention double.

I might be far from perfect. I achieve less than so many people out there. However, I just want to inspire young women out there that they could achieve what they want if they work hard for it. I am not saying that women should not rely on men but I just want to emphasize that women could achieve things and it would be great if their partner support that too. In the world of gender equality, mutual support from each other is something essential.

I am not even sure if I am good at posting pictures on Instagram. I will just give it a try. Instagram is a happening social media medium (at least in Indonesia now) that we all could use for a positive change. I will post more about being a female globetrotter and environmental stuff contents out there. So hereby I declare that I am officially open my Instagram account for public. Lets see how it goes...



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